Honor thy mother and father. At the time this statement was made I wonder what was the state of the black family. I believe many of our minority community issues stem from something much deeper. As I did research on the mid Atlantic slave trade, I was shocked to find out African tribes would sell off rival tribes to be enslaved in the New World.
What? Yeah, that’s what I said. Our own people selling out for some dollars and cents. Sounds familiar!
Is there no limit to what we will do for money? I guess not, because I’m an American citizen instead of an African. The dismantlement of the black family is sadly a historic trend. It began as an involuntary trend in the slave era. Fathers were taken from their families and sold like cattle. The white man was the enemy then but today is a different story.
Today, men voluntarily abandon their families and children to remain unattached to responsibility. Men roam the streets in search of a woman with assets. An independent woman is a weak man’s prey. The era of something for nothing is at an all time high. This is just one obstacle of the black family.
At what point do we stop making excuses for this behavior?
My friends and I speak often about helping family, setting goals and living abundantly. Some how we had our rise to power all mapped out in our heads. It was obvious it wouldn’t be a cake-walk, but never did we expect the parent trap.
Parents between the ages of 35-50 seem to think their children owe them. Let me remind you that many black parents due to lack of education themselves don’t know the struggles to achievement in a less than welcoming corporate community.
The pedestal college diplomas are placed on in the black home symbolizes achievement and hope. Being college educated doesn’t come without ridicule. Parents believe college grads with salaried jobs, 401k’s and benefits are a Godsend. Because parents are often working minimum wage jobs, are laid off, depending on public assistance and abandoned hope for a better life, many post grads must bare the burden of single handedly lifting from poverty.
That’s a lot of damn responsibility.
See the problem isn’t just about money. Many college grads are more than happy to give back to those that have raised them. The bigger issue is that parents believe this is owed to them.
- Should I really owe my parents if they never put a dollar on my tuition, books, meal plan or room and board?
- Should I really owe them if I have to take out 40,000 dollars in government school loans?
- Should I really owe them if I hustled to find a job and connections after college?
The reality is parents are supposed to prepare their children for life by giving them a head start. This means saving for college before I can count, going to PTA meetings, explaining the importance of not borrowing money and promising to pay it back, teaching me to never depend on the government for help but to find my own path.
Many parents are not sharing their experiences with their kids; they are only allowing us to see the results of their mistakes. We need to know what went wrong and what it will take for us not to follow the same path. It’s not just about money it’s about education. If you can’t offer money, offer us wisdom. Wisdom is free.
Many post grads are struggling to start their lives because of lack of adolescent guidance. We are confident we can make it and it’s known that our journey will be different from our counterparts.
As a parent my kids don’t owe me anything, other than being a responsible adults.I’m hoping what I’m teaching them will cover that. Our kids don’t owe us anything. We owe them to instill values, knowledge and a head start in life with hopes of them being the leaders of our future.
Peace & Progress
Chanel
Mommy Making Moves by LaChanel Hemphill 