I’m bothered by people who were raised by single parents, but bash single parents. Specifically, single mothers. According to America Single Mothers are the demise of whole communities – I’m not going to go there today.
Back to these bitter, single mom babies. Maybe their experience was traumatic, filled with not enough hugs, support or Nike’s. I don’t know. I’m actually speculating – they could have been raised in a loving 2 parent household. If that’s the case, they should really shut the hell up. If I sound hostile it’s because I take offense.
My mom was tough, but did well with her 3 kids. Honestly – for real, for real, I wouldn’t be the proud woman I am if it wasn’t for her influence. I’m not talking about just getting a college degree either. I’m talking about how I feel about myself. I’m confident in my abilities and ideas. I treat people with respect. I value family. That came from the 3 single moms that raised me.
And I never heard them complain about having to raise their kids alone.
So when someone says, “Single moms, should make better choices.” I say, many of them do. For whatever reason the dad isn’t around, many single moms make the best decisions for their families daily.
Yes, taking care of a child alone is rough – but single mothers understand the important job they have. They will make mistakes, all parents do.
Who is to say things would be any better with a father in the home. Fathers that want to be fathers add value to the home, but a man that doesn’t prioritize family could be detrimental to the entire family. Again, we don’t know every single mothers story. I’d rather for a woman to walk away from a bad situation, opposed to letting her kids see behavior that could damage them for life.
And I’m not bashing dads. It’s just that a single dad is seen as amazing and single mothers are seen as less than human.
And about dads – Why do we automatically assume that a man is a dead beat or the mother is a woman that makes pour decisions in men. The world is so much bigger than those people we see on our timelines. Making judgements based on the 3 ratchet chicks that post all day just isn’t logical.
There are more reasons than the obvious for why a woman is holding down her house alone.
5 “Other” Reasons Women are Single Mothers
1. The father passed away from an illness, active duty or other reason
2. The father decided not to be involved with the child or mother
3. The mother made a conscious decision to raise her child without a father
4. The mother adopted a child, was artificially inseminated or is taking care of a child she didn’t give birth to
5. A traumatic experience led to her pregnancy and parenting alone is the safest choice
So instead of assuming single moms are these horrible helpless women, think of all the amazing people you’ve encountered in your life. I guarantee some of them were raised by single women.
Mommy Making Moves by LaChanel Hemphill 
This is such an awesome read!! Even with the father in the home there is no way around the full duties of a mother. I commend all mothers especially single moms because of the resilience, the fight, the sacrifice, and pressure to get it right. It's done irregardless to the circumstance. The fact that a woman can say I'm going to own up to my role and be the best I can makes her that much stronger. Yes, she does deserve praise and recognition because cowards walk away but a mother steps up and dives in full force, if that's not an intelligent decision I don't know what is. She is fully aware of her contribution to the future and vows to be all she can in that child's life whether the father stay or go. Kudos to all of the mommies making moves!
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You hit it right on the head! As a single mom, it does make me a little mad when I see posts assuming I don't have degrees, I'm on welfare, or that I couldn't keep my legs closed. It's ridiculous to blame single moms and leave no accountability for these “dads” walking out on their children messing them up for life. My parents were married before my sister and I were even born and he still turned out to be less than beneficial so he was divorced and became a deadbeat. Moral of the story is, don't point the finger when you don't know the whole story or have a solid solution to the problem.
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