I lived in the city most of my life before I moved to college and my mother died; The Westside Austin Area was my home. My mom wasn’t big on letting her lil girl roam the streets so she overloaded me with books and gave horrible warnings about being in the street for no reason. “Ain’t nothing open after 9 except legs.” She said. My mom gave me the run down on what bitches, hoes and no good men were about.
But what she forgot to warn me about was the other four letter word. LOVE.
I learned early to stay out the streets but let’s be real just because you’re taught something is no guarantee you’ll avoid the situation. Despite my mothers warnings I had sex by 15 years old and had an abortion by 17 years old. In my opinion I wasn’t being fast (as the old people would call it) I was in love. I trusted the boy I loved to protect me but of course he was out for himself. (There were many lessons learned from that relationship).
My mother’s expectations of what I should be were overwhelming to the point that I fought against them. My boyfriend’s expectations on what a girlfriend should be consumed me because I gave in. It drove me crazy to the point I wanted to kill myself. I just felt it would be better if I weren’t alive, and then no one could push his or her thoughts about what I should be on me. Just like the girls I see on the bus with buzz lighteryear and spongebob back packs, I considered myself smart and old enough to handle my situation, but clearly I was a pawn in the game of life. It’s hard trying to live for the expectations of others. Especially when you’re trying to discover what you expect of yourself.
My message to you is that just because you’re from the hood doesn’t mean you have to be a teenage mother. Just because you grew up without a father doesn’t mean you have to join a gang. Just because you did a bid in jail doesn’t mean you’re a criminal. Just because you like someone doesn’t mean you have to sleep with him or her. Just because you have a drug connect doesn’t mean you have to sell drugs. Just because you’re slick with words doesn’t mean you have to be a pimp or shyster. Just because you have a big booty doesn’t mean you have to be a video chick. Once we do one unworthy or worthy thing we are labeled and pressured to live up to those expectations.
Don’t allow anyone to push you into being something you don’t want or weren’t meant to be. I’ll admit sometimes it’s hard to determine if you want it or if others want you to be it. Here’s a tip to know the difference. If you are more worried about what others will think of you instead of how you will feel after You’re trying to live up to someone else’s expectations.
Become passionate about finding the truth about yourself and when you find the truth you’ll be able to say “NO” I’m not doing that or “NO” I’m more than a nigga from the hood. You’ll begin to break barriers and move into your purpose. You’ll see yourself differently. You’ll be like “dang what have I been doing all this time.”
I hope my life experiences help you with your journey to progression.
Remember changes don’t happen over night but small progression is still progress.
Chief Inspiration Officer
Ms. Chane”Ambitious” Ballard
Rise2Power Project
“Annoying teens and young adults into progression since 1984.”
Mommy Making Moves by LaChanel Hemphill 
Good post with solid examples. One thing I have learned is that we have teach our youth (and some adults) some realistic tactics to get out of situations that involve peer pressure. I like your statement
“If you are more worried about what others will think of you instead of how you will feel after”
Many youth may not be able to identify the feeling of peer pressure and therefore, miss the opportunity to call up their training.
Keep posting and “annoying teens and young adults” and maybe some will begin to understand.
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Thank you for your support Ashley. Please pass our site along.
Have a progressive day and come again.
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