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Help Your Girls Find Their Awesome

A few weeks ago a group of 7th and 8th grade girls admitted to not having interest outside of school. While the boys of the same age played sports, video games and were artistic outside of school.

When I heard this all I could think about is these girls being taken advantage of by men that know they have no direction or self worth. Deep sigh.

We don’t need not one more girl led astray by a young man that never had good intentions with her heart.

How do we help our girls find purpose?

Too many of our girls are choosing to look cute over being doers. And worse than that, girls are focusing on the accomplishments of the boys instead of getting accomplishments of their own.

Come on now. We can not have our young girls aspiring to be cute for a living. Yes, we all want to look good. Flawless!

None of that matters if we have nothing to offer outside of Red Bottoms. barrel curls and fancy nail polish.

These young ladies are probably thinking these boys will like them more if they are always available to them or that if they are attractive the boys will like them.

Enlightened grown women know that having your own aspirations keeps us from putting our life in the rough hands of another.

Here are two events happening this week to help our young sisters find a sense of purpose. Please pass this information along.

I can’t stand to see our girls out here bad.

Black Girls Code – March 19th

BGC

@ Gwendolyn Brooks College Preparatory Academy 
250 East 111th Street 
Chicago, IL 60628

Register 

Global Super Girls – March 20th

ConsciousXplorer will take participants on a journey around the world to learn about two Global Super Girls, Kalpana Chawla, the first Indian Woman Astronaut and Ixkaxochitl an indigineous leader of the Nahua (Aztec) culture.

GlobalGirls

Where: Undisclosed location in Lincoln square. Address will be emailed at the time of purchase.

Register

 

Why Is It So Hard to See the Big Picture?

It’s a beautiful feeling when you set goals , plan and accomplish them. When I graduated from college I was like WOW, I did it, Mama I made it!
 
Honestly it made me feel like I could accomplish anything. From what I know about driven people, when they accomplish one goal they set out on the next mission.
 
It’s like you get addicted to the pursuit of happiness. I think that’s a good addiction as long as we remember to live in the moments. The pursuit of happiness isn’t a specific destination but the beautiful moments leading up to your destiny.


Excuse me while I have a Russell Simmons moment

 
God has placed on my heart the gift and curse of seeing potential in all people.  It’s a gift if people take heed to the inspirations in life. It’s a curse when they are exposed to their awesomeness but choose not to pursue.
 
But we’re all hard headed about something. We need to eat better, but we love steak. We need to call our parents more, but they talk too much. We need to save more money, but Akira has a sale.
 
Hunny, the struggle is real for someone about something. The struggle can only be an excuse for so long. At some point we have to see our health goals, financial goals and life goals as bigger than our struggles.

 


Wanting to do better in life is intimidating. 

 

 
We see the mountain and may even know how to overcome it, but it’s that climb that’s tough. Winners and Losers are defined by who wants to see the mountain top.
 
Choices are our greatest gift. Have you ever had one word or action change the course of our life. Author Dennis Kimbo’s  book Think and Grow Rich highlights the power of our thoughts. The beauty of choices is that even when you get off track there is always a road leading back to greatness.
 
The choice to embrace all things possible carries a lot of weight. The world is filled with opportunity but it’s disguised in the form of obstacles.
 
When people see the word obstacle, they immediately think work. It’s true overcoming obstacles is hard work, but the pleasure you receive after that obstacle is conquered, is unexplainable.
 
Failure is something we all know to well, but Victory is reserved for warriors.
 
As optimistic as I am, I understand that everyone isn’t destined to be rich or be the voice of the people.  Understand, The best road for getting what you want is to assist someone one in getting what they want.
 
Always demand more of yourself than you demand of others and your example will inspire people to want more.

Don’t Be a Hater, Be a Helper! How to Help Someone Build Their Business or Cause

If you’re not interested in being the greatest, support those that aspire to be great. 

Great coaches nurture great players, Amazing teachers nurture amazing professionals, Great parents nurture great children.

We can all use a Joe Biden to our Barack Obama. 

We can use our skills to help advance a bigger goal, isn’t that what life is all about?

Your words and actions can inspire others to push for better even if you don’t want to rule the world yourself. We all can play an important role in the life of a champion.

It takes a big woman to support another woman with big dreams and the relationship won’t work if envy, jealousy or bitterness is an issue. 

We have to be comfortable in our own skin to truly promote another woman. It’s cool if you’re not there yet, but definitely work towards being a team player. After all, you’d want someone to support you. Right?


Here are 5 Ways to Help Others Succeed
1.) Understand their product, business or talent. Ask questions about what they’re doing now to work towards their goals and how they plan to get there.
2.) Spread the word about their gifts, talents, events and products. You don’t have to wear a shirt that says “Marketing Manager” but you can utilize your social media, professional and person connections to spread the word about your friends budding business.
3.) Patronize their products and services. Put your money where your mouth is. You can’t tell others to believe in something you won’t buy yourself.
4.) Encourage them. Look out for helpful resources, grants and possible business opportunities. They can use all the help they can get.
5.) Be consistent. Many people are excited at the beginning of careers and ventures but when the going gets tough people stop supporting. Show that you’re interested in their success. Ask how things are going weekly and if you can lend a hand.
These tips can be applied to college students, business owners, volunteer work, magicians, comedians and even preschoolers. 

The underline rule here is to support progression at any stage.

Dreams Delayed: While We’re Affirming Our Men and Kids, Whose Affirming Us

Beyonce and Oprah aren’t the only women in the world with big dreams and big talent.


You have something special too.


I recently read an article that Tisha Campbell-Martin and Duane Martin agreed to put their own needs first in their marriage. They believe that if our individual goals are priority we’ll be more fulfilled in family life.


That’s brilliant. Imagine how your life could change if you poured 15% of the energy you invest into your kids into yourself. 

#MommyMagic would shine bright like diamond.


No matter where you’re beginnings, your goals can be achieved with little focus and a lot of work. Building anything takes a lot of time to find the right combination of time, resources and opportunity.


It can be done. It has been done.


How do we keep ourselves amped about our goals? Getting kids dresses for school, making breakfast, going to work to do the same job, the same way starts to kill your creativity.


( Lord knows I know)


Add some umph to your routine with personal pep talks. It’s perfectly normal for you to boost your confidence by projecting your future career, scholastic and business plans to the world.


As women, we spend so much time affirming our men, kids, friends, even celebrities. It’s time for us to affirm ourselves by valuing our talents, goals and plans.


Don’t be arrogant, but having a positive outlook on your future will inspire those around you.

3 Things you can do to move forward on your plans


  • Start on your business plan, even if you have no money.
  • Put a picture of your dream house on your wall, even if you stay in a shelter.
  • List the characteristics of your dream job, even if you’re a freshman in high school.


It’s never too early to start planning for your future wins.


Keep pushing and believing in your dreams but remember without hard, smart work there will be no reward.

Win Tickets to The Revival Improv Comedy Theater

Happy Hump Day!
My brain hasn’t fully caught up with daylight savings time, but I can’t let that stop me from sharing great news with you. 
If you’re one of my almost four thousand Facebook friends, you’ve watched me relentlessly plug the upcoming Mastermind Over Wine (MOW) meet up – I’m not going to stop either 👍🏾
The latest sponsor to join the Mastermind Over Wine action is The Revival Improv Comedy Theater located in Hyde Park. I’ll be giving away 2 free tickets to an upcoming show at MOW. 

All you have to do is show up and Mastermind 🙇🏽 

Visit http://www.the-revival.com for a list of shows and classes.

Is College for Lames, Now?

I always have the deepest conversations with my best friend about influencing our youth and making the world a better place. She shared with me the story of a young lady from Chicago by the name of Lil Snoop.


The story is that the 17 year old girl took on the personification of a gun toting character from the wire. Unfortunately, Before she could see the error of her ways she was gunned down. 



The issues in our communities are a bit deeper than banning guns, rap music and increasing the minimum wage. 


Life in 2016 is about money, influence and attention. Instagram fame is way easier than pursuing a degree. I can’t even be mad, student loans are brutal for our pockets. 


And where are the shows to encourage scholastic achievement. 80’s babies had “A Different World” and “Drumline.” Even Zach an them on “Saved by Bell” went to college. Oh yeah, can’t forget Moesha. 


We had actual visuals of college, even if we didn’t know a single real life college graduate. Those images were enough for us to say, “Yeah, I’m going to college.”


Fast forward to today – everyone wants to be somebody but aren’t sure how. It looks like the entertainers have the best lives, so now that’s what everyone wants to be. College grads look lame, taking care of your family isn’t glamorous, a legit job sounds boring. 


Somewhere down the line of evolution some families stopped passing down the importance of providing,protecting and progressing family in a respectable manner. 


Somewhere down the line pride in hard work was minimized to “That work is beneath me.”


There is a lack of Hope and determination in our youth. They don’t see life getting better, so why try. They don’t see anyone living the dream so why try. That is an empty feeling which starts to develop in childhood. 


We all play apart in making our kids feel capable of greatness. Encouraging them by exposing them to more than what’s on tv, radio and web. 


This is our responsibility. 


If you’ve got to snatch your child off the street corner, than that’s what you have to do. If you have to give up them looking fly during the school year or saving that money to send them away to a summer camp- do what you gotta do. 


So much of our demise is attributed to the breakdown of the family dynamic. We need to get back to peace, love and unity. How do we make that cool again?

Be Brave, Not Perfect


To my lovely ladies – I know it’s tough out here figuring out what our place is in this world. We spend our lives trying to be the perfect worker, partner, daughter, friend, mother and so on. 

It’s not an easy task to be everything to everybody, but truth is we must be everything to ourselves first. If we give everything to others what’s left for us?

We must tell ourselves we are beautiful No matter how “BAD” the chick is standing next to us. 

We must encourage ourselves when those we love most have no positive words for us. 

We must cheer for our accomplishments and we must pray for ourselves. 

We MUST love ourselves for every flaw and mistake. 

Rest assured that you do have a purpose. God invested a lot of time into making you an INDIVIDUAL!!! 

You were not meant to look and behave like other women. Don’t ever feel bad for being different. No you may not get all the attention from men when you go out but is that the attention you really want?

Those who are meant to be in your life will be in your life because of the amazing person you are, not because of what you look like.

Sorry for the long post but I see so many young women speaking the same, looking the same and acting the same. “BE YOUR OWN WOMAN.”

The Revival – Spring Classes

The Revival – Spring Classes
The Revival – Hyde Park’s new improv comedy theater – is thrilled to announce our roster of Spring classes! Highlights include:

  • Improv (for Adults & Kids)
  • Stand Up Comedy (for Adults & Teens)
  • Acting (for Kids)
  • Storytelling
  • Presentation Skills 

Classes begin the week of March 28th and meet once per week for 8 weeks in our theater.

For Class Info & Registration go to the Revival website. 

http://the-revival.com/classes.php

5 "Other" Reasons Women are Single Mothers

I’m bothered by people who were raised by single parents, but bash single parents. Specifically, single mothers. According to America Single Mothers are the demise of whole communities – I’m not going to go there today. 

Back to these bitter, single mom babies. Maybe their experience was traumatic, filled with not enough hugs, support or Nike’s. I don’t know. I’m actually speculating – they could have been raised in a loving 2 parent household. If that’s the case, they should really shut the hell up. If I sound hostile it’s because I take offense. 
My mom was tough, but did well with her 3 kids. Honestly – for real, for real, I wouldn’t be the proud woman I am if it wasn’t for her influence. I’m not talking about just getting a college degree either. I’m talking about how I feel about myself. I’m confident in my abilities and ideas. I treat people with respect. I value family. That came from the 3 single moms that raised me. 
And I never heard them complain about having to raise their kids alone. 
So when someone says, “Single moms, should make better choices.” I say, many of them do. For whatever reason the dad isn’t around, many single moms make the best decisions for their families daily. 
Yes, taking care of a child alone is rough – but single mothers understand the important job they have. They will make mistakes, all parents do. 

Who is to say things would be any better with a father in the home. Fathers that want to be fathers add value to the home, but a man that doesn’t prioritize family could be detrimental to the entire family. Again, we don’t know every single mothers story. I’d rather for a woman to walk away from a bad situation, opposed to letting her kids see behavior that could damage them for life. 
And I’m not bashing dads. It’s just that a single dad is seen as amazing and single mothers are seen as less than human. 

And about dads – Why do we automatically assume that a man is a dead beat or the mother is a woman that makes pour decisions in men. The world is so much bigger than those people we see on our timelines. Making judgements based on the 3 ratchet chicks that post all day just isn’t logical. 
There are more reasons than the obvious for why a woman is holding down her house alone. 

5 “Other” Reasons Women are Single Mothers 
1. The father passed away from an illness, active duty or other reason
2. The father decided not to be involved with the child or mother
3. The mother made a conscious decision to raise her child without a father 
4. The mother adopted a child, was artificially inseminated or is taking care of a child she didn’t give birth to
5. A traumatic experience led to her pregnancy and parenting alone is the safest choice 
So instead of assuming single moms are these horrible helpless women, think of all the amazing people you’ve encountered in your life. I guarantee some of them were raised by single women. 

WHY POST MOMMY BEYONCE IS MUCH BOLDER THAN PRE MOMMY BEYONCE.

Of course the world is set a blaze whenever Beyonce randomly drops any piece of music, video or artwork. She’s worked HARD for that Queen B title and mama is working even harder to keep it. Doesn’t look like she’s giving it up anytime soon either. 


Who the hell else in the music industry is so sure of themselves that they need NO radio, magazine or press releases (nobody in my Keith Sweat voice).

 

While Nicki Minaj proclaimed, she’s not giving up her title until she starts having children. Bey is screaming, I’m a working mommy. Who mad?

 

What strikes me as phenomenal is the boldness of her words, marketing moves and stance on women’s empowerment since becoming a mother. She touched on it pre mommyhood, but post mommyhood is all about loving yourself, not just getting money. 



As Beyonce journey’s into various areas of womanhood her interest change. What she cares about is changing. She’s gone from songs about partying with girlfriends, to making love to her husband, to girls running the world.

 

While many things are changing her leotard and dance moves aren’t going anywhere. I’m figuring this is what throws people off about her messages. Like, who said that empowering women meant being fully clothed. 


I’d rather see her booty shaking than hear another broken hearted tune or men are not worthy R&B song. Her messages bring energy, power and sex appeal to womanhood. Elements many moms start to lose after changing dirty diapers, breast feeding and being consumed with all things baby for years.

 

It’s not many artist telling women to be in love but have your own life, money, goals and dreams. I’m here for any message about self loveEspecially for moms. There just isn’t enough of that today for women. Honestly, young girls are drowning in lyrics about what men want them to be. 

 

Yeah, I like Future, but I definitely don’t want my daughter to be his next baby mama.  

 

Mrs. Carter proclaims proudly to be Jay – Z’s wife, but will never let us forget that part of the empire is fully hers. She praises her man without diminishing her own value. What a powerful message to young women worried about finding Mr. Right. Imagine that, a man that’s not intimidated by your drive and ambition. 

 

Not only is the sweet smell of empowerment in her music, it’s in her business moves. She assembles her teams and productions strategically to include women. Remember the all female band? She not only talks women empowerment – she invests in it! That’s dope on so many levels. 

 

Powerful women, such as Yvette Noel-SchureMelina Matsoukas and Tina Knowles have contributed to the brand of Beyonce. Oh don’t get me started on her ability to recognize the importance of collaboration among women. We are so freaking powerful as collective whole and we don’t need to be rich or famous to tap into that.

 

Of course, there are a lot of people still hung up on the original Destiny’s Child split. It looked pretty messy from the outside looking in. We would be lying if we didn’t look at our own lives  counting the numerous friends lost along the way. It’s a part a growing up. A lesson Beyonce will undoubtedly teach Blue Ivy. Everybody can’t go with you to the top, baby girl.

 

The brand of Beyonce is fully aware of her power on the world, but I’d like to argue that it’s the power that Blue Ivy has on her that is causing a change of heart.

 

To date she’s directed her messages to ALL women, not singling out her black sisters (Although if you ask me, I’d swear she’s singing directly to me and my friends). In many interviews, she’s credited her mother with her polished demeanor, work ethic and creativity. It’s no wonder that the new post mommy Beyonce seems to be a bit more edgier than we remember. The way her mother nurtured her growth and development, she is now doing for her own daughter. See motherhood will do that to you.

 

When I became a mother it happened to me to. You become enlightened and aware of the injustice, pollution and dangers of this massive planet. And you are constantly thinking, how can I protect my child from this? How do I prepare my child to survive in a world that is out to destroy their spirit. That’s a heavy weight. Beyonce, I believe, is feeling that weight of how to prepare Blue for new levels of criticism about her appearance, her parents and her privilege. You’ve seen the way the media and  rude ass adults have commented on this child. 

 

The days of Beyonce living for herself are over. Mama Beyis thinking about her daughter, little Blue IVY. She is thinking of how heartless critics (black, white and other) will without thinking twice criticize the size of her nose and the texture of her hair. She is thinking about how one day her daughter may be stopped by police while driving and never make it home. She is thinking that if she doesn’t say something, anything, her daughter is going to one day look at her and say, “Mommy, what did you do to make this world better for me.” Saying she sang her way through life, just ain’t going to cut it.

 

Oh there is no more playing it safe when you become a mother. Being responsible for a life besides our own forces us to look at this vicious world through the eyes of a protector.


So to the critics begging for Bey to stay in her lane, but  are all good with her shaking her cakes and singing about nothing that will change the world. Listen here, Mama Bey is a different breed of woman. She is a MOTHER now and ALL LANES that impact our kids belong to US.